The Disjointed Thoughts of a Class Clown Demon
by Skylark Starflower
Summary: ACF There's more to a certain green haired demon than what most people care to learn...


Authors Note/Disclaimer: I don't own Alter Code F; it belongs to Media Vision and Sony. The same ol' song and dance. I'd mention that other company involved, but…I can't seem to find that missing text that contains their name…Heh…

So, I've latched onto a certain green haired demon and claimed him for my own. Tee hee. I don't know if it's funny or sad that I've discovered I've got a lot in common with him. Oh well. Hee heh. Anyway, read on and tell me what ya think, please kay thanks?

"**The Disjointed Thoughts of a Class Clown Demon"  
By Skylark Starflower  
Started February 3, 2006  
Finished February 4, 2006**

She knew he was upset when he returned. To those who didn't pay attention like she did, he hid it well, but she could tell, beneath the cheeriness and boastfulness, he was hurting. She knew by tiny hints, like the way his voice raised just a hint of an octave when he was trying to keep a rein on his emotions. He didn't like feeling hurt, so he masked it with happiness, to the point that she just wanted to cry for him.

Yet, she couldn't do anything about it. She didn't want to see him in pain anymore than he wanted to feel it, but she couldn't bring herself to call him on it. All she could do was ask him how he was, and wish he'd tell her the truth.

"So, Zed, how are your friends?"

"They're good. They were all happy to see me again!" Crossing his arms in front of himself, he nodded, a toothy grin showing off his fangs. "My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, but I know they would have been disappointed if I hadn't put in an appearance."

Aura laughed. "I'm sure that's all that happened." She moved forward, following the sound of his voice and hugged him. She could feel him tense at the sudden contact, but she knew he just hadn't been expecting it. It didn't bother her when he didn't hug her back, either. He wasn't used to being treated with kindness, and he wasn't sure how to respond to it now.

"Is there anything you'd like me to do for you?" he asked once she'd let him go. "Because otherwise, there's something I'd like to do outside."

"Go ahead, Zed. I'm okay."

She could sense his smile, and could tell it was real, unlike the one he usually wore when he was fooling people into thinking he was happy. She smiled back as he darted out the door, throwing over his shoulder a bright, "Later!"

She shook her head once she was sure he was gone. 'Oh Zed,' she thought, 'when will you learn to open up?'

X X X

Getting up on the wall didn't take him much effort. He wasn't sure what it was about being up high that he liked, but he wasn't about to question it. The wall around Saint Centaur was a great place to look out over Filgaia. Finding a protected niche, he sat down and nestled into it. Gazing out over the land, he let his defenses drop and his mind wander.

The town was empty, and he knew why. He didn't want to tell Aura the truth, with her firm belief that the townspeople would someday return. It was true, he reflected, that there could have been a few other survivors besides her, but the rest were dead. Of that, he had no doubt. He knew all about Alhazad's little experiment.

It seemed possible to him, however, that it could be repopulated. Perhaps not by average citizens, but conceivably by Wanderers who wanted to give up wandering or anyone who wasn't frightened off by the prospect of living in a ghost town. He certainly didn't mind.

Zed crossed his arms across his knees and pulled them to his chest sulkily. Why was Aura the only person who accepted him for who he was and not what he was? A nagging voice in the back of his mind reminded him that she was blind, and that she didn't yet know what he was. And sure, there was Rudy as well, but Rudy accepted everyone, so he didn't count.

Had it not been enough for them that he'd turned against his own kind, taking up his sword in the fight to protect Filgaia instead of destroying it? He'd found something he cared about, something he thought worth fighting for, and still they scoffed at him.

It had really hurt when he'd learned about the reunion. Why hadn't he been invited? Sure, he'd started off as an enemy, but he'd overcome that, hadn't he? Maybe he hadn't been a part of the team for as long as the others, but he'd still been instrumental in winning some of the following battles. It wasn't fair. He wasn't like the other demons. He'd never been like the other demons.

So he'd gone to the reunion anyway. He'd played the fool, joking around in the hopes he'd at least slightly amuse someone, and what had he got to show for it? A rock in the face and a death threat. He still wasn't sure which had stung more.

He wiped angrily at his eyes. It wouldn't do to cry. That would just get him teased more, he knew. He simply couldn't win. He did his best and it wasn't enough. If he gave up, he was laughed at and pushed around. If he gave into his emotions, he was weak.

He wasn't the idiot people took him for. It was true he would never measure up to someone like Alhazad, but that didn't make him stupid. But no one ever gave him the chance to prove it. For once, just once, he wished someone would give him a chance…

X X X

Aura's footsteps were silent as she traced her way around the city. Zed had never realized that she could hear him when he was up on the wall top. She tilted her head up towards the sound of muffled sobs and wished she were brave enough to call his name. But no, she decided. She'd wait for him to open up to her, no matter how long that took. Pestering him about it would just make him withdraw further.

She stood and listened to him for a few moments longer before turning and making her way back home. She knew it would take time, even years perhaps, to crack through the layers of emotional damage the other demons had done to him, but she was willing to undertake the task. Though she wasn't quite ready to admit she'd known from the start what he was. She didn't want to scare him off.

She didn't care what Zed was. She was very fond of him. When he'd first arrived in Saint Centaur, he had threatened to throw her to the monsters if she'd screamed, but she had been able to tell that he really hadn't meant it. He didn't seem frightening, so she hadn't felt scared. It had come as such a surprise to him to have someone do as he'd told them that he hadn't known what to do about it.

She'd been calm and kind and he had eventually realized she meant him no harm. She stopped being his hostage and instead became his friend. He started protecting her from the monsters that had appeared in the town and helped her out whenever he could.

He'd helped her, so she wanted to do the same for him. She just hoped it didn't take him too long to ask for it.

**The End**


End file.
